speechless

As any longtime reader of this blog can attest, I have not been using my words effectively for quite some time now.  The reasons for that are the subject of a different self-analytical post.  Sometime.

But it occurred to me this morning, as I was uploading a long overdue video, that my involvement as the co-director/producer of Listen to Your Mother San Francisco came at a good time, when I needed to place my personal focus on listening.

And I did listen.  For four months, I listened to amazing human beings tell their stories of motherhood through auditions, rehearsals, and finally the show itself on May 10.  I listened and analyzed and furrowed my brow but I didn't let the words truly soak in until a few days after the show when I watched some of the video of our event before sending it off to the editor who will post the stories on YouTube this summer.  As I watched, I finally allowed myself to hear the stories, not as a director or a producer, but as a mother, a friend, an audience member.  And my heart cracked open and I laughed and empathized and wept like someone does who really opens their heart and spirit to the stories that bind us together - whether or not we are mothers.

It's taken me almost a full month to process the Listen To Your Mother experience.   I went through the gamut of emotions - exhilaration, but also depression not only because it was over but because of the fear that I didn't do it justice, that I failed the people involved.  With a little distance, I can be gentler with myself and am filled with gratitude.

For Kirsten, who walked this journey with me, and whose proclamation of "Onward!" I still whisper to myself when I'm stuck in a procrastination rut.
For national director and inspiration Ann Imig, Stacey and Elise our mentors in Spokane, my English hubby who shot beautiful photos of the event, my sister who flew in to be with me just for this event and steadied my nerves.

For the cast's willingness to share their heartfelt stories, and for the audience who LISTENED.

Thank you.

My LTYM SF Show Recap
Kirsten's Thank You post

(this video is my personal thank you)