I've been singing "Bushel and a Peck" to Sweetpea at bedtime recently. I used to sing it to her as a toddler but when I mentioned it to her a few weeks ago she couldn't remember it. You know it, right?
"I love you a bushel and a peck
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap and I'm talking in my sleep
About you, about you
A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck
A hug around the neck and a barrel and a heap
A barrel and a heap and I'm talking in my sleep
About you, about you
Cause I love you a bushel and a peck
You bet your pretty neck, I do"
You bet your pretty neck, I do"
Some of the work I've been doing lately in embracing vulnerability in my life has been uncomfortable and sometimes downright annoying. Even though I have a personal blog and thus you would think might have narcissistic tendencies, I prefer in my daily life to keep the focus far away from me. My tendency is to turn questions about me back toward the other person as quickly as possible. My best friend knows this and doesn't let me get away with it. Which I love her for but which is also very annoying.
I was searching out photos of myself as a child today for an assignment and although I found plenty where I was smiling, I kept coming back to this one. I remember a friend commenting about it - "that is so you". And it is. I looked at it, and at some of the self portraits I took in the garden today for a different assignment, and the two somehow came together. They make me want to weep. Yes, there is much joy in my life but I am also frequently solemn. I feel quite tender toward the little me, and thus, since the two are the same, toward the big me as well. This is revelatory.
It's not a new concept, knowing that we need to love ourselves. But you bet your pretty neck I do. I'm working on it, anyway.
What an amazing insight. We have to embrace who we are, and some of those things go way, way back. I've always been the "serious" one. The thinker. Not as witty and fun as my sister, who is the life of the party, even though I've always wanted to be. But I'm starting to see that's ok too, I need to accept who I am and realize that I just offer something different to the world. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability, it helps to see that I am not alone. It reflects so much of my own journey.
ReplyDeleteI love the little you and the adult-wife-mom-sister-friend you - they are both amazing.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting how our perceptions of ourselves can be very different from how others perceive us. I watched the little you grow up and to be honest, that little girl was more kooky and smiling than not...all of my friends thought she was adorable.
Good for you on the self-reflection phase you are going through...difficult as it is, it will bring such reward!
I relate to this more than you know. Thank you for sharing these little bits of yourself.
ReplyDeletegorgeous post! i loved so much about it. that song is near and dear to me. my sweet dad sang it to me too when he'd rub my back at night before i slept. oh what warm fuzzies!
ReplyDeletei sing it to my kids now. they love it too.
also, i love the accountability to yourself-take in your post. it's what i talk about every day and i'm jumping up and down listening to you too! keep on!.
I think it's good to see ourselves as who we really are. Learn to love ourselves for our differences instead of just always trying to change it.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth? I love those photos. :)
Oh, what is it that keeps us from being happy? We have so much to be happy about, and yet it often feels so hard to be happy. This week, I am feeling my blessings. But so often, I just can't feel them at all. I wish you the best on your journey.
ReplyDeleteYou ARE gorgeous in both photos ... solemn I agree ... yet beautiful. I think it's what makes you, YOU. And honestly, I wouldn't change any part of that.
ReplyDeleteI completely relate on turning questions / things around on others when they ask thought provoking questions. I prefer to be a good listener and let others open up...
And that song? I sing it all the time to my kidlets. But I'll admit - I didn't know all the words. :)
I don't know the song, but the words sound so cute. The pictures are beautiful. You say you see solemnity, the first word that came to mind when I saw these pictures, both, was 'strong'.
ReplyDeleteLoving yourself is a good task and a lot of people struggle with it. It is not just you. And we are all in this together.
ReplyDeleteI love you too, just the way you are.
Believe in yourself, your body and your abilities. I know this is not easy but one day from now there will be a day where you can firmly believe in it and own it for yourself.
xxx
Two beautiful versions of you! Great post.
ReplyDeleteOh - I could have written this myself... I look at my wildly exuberant daughter and think, "where did you come from??" I was a solemn one. Still am a lot of the time.
ReplyDelete