Universal Truths

PMS victims should qualify for paid sick days. Weeks, even. You wake up in the morning, looking forward to the day and all the accomplishments you're going to ... accomplish ... and the first word anyone says to you or perhaps the sight of guinea pig poop squished into the hardwood results in snarls toward anyone in the vicinity. Lasts all day too, even with coffee and waffles with maple syrup. Day ruined, the world hates me, short fuse, Sweetpea keeps a low profile in her room drawing. Smart girl.

Don't plan. Remember my snoozy Sunday, the heat wave, my prediction that chilly and/or rainy weather would in all likelihood return? And all my plans to get the vegetable garden planted this past weekend? If you don't live where I live, guess what the weather's doing right now? Four straight days of rain, that's right. Not that we don't need it, but hello - could it not have waited until I was over my PMS? Oh. And planted the garden, for crying out loud?

When the time is right, you'll know it. At this time last year I was wringing my hands over whether to enroll Sweetpea in kindergarten this past September. She has an unfortunate birthday which means that she would either be one of the youngest or the oldest in her year, depending on when she starts school. I think the reason I did so much hand-wringing was not only because I wasn't sure if she was ready but - just maybe - because I wasn't ready for her to be in school every day. Well, I'm ready. She is a daily delight to me (as demonstrated by how often she is featured in my ramblings), but I'm ready for my little bird to fly the nest so that I can too. Plus, she asks every single day how many more days it is to kindergarten, so she's ready too, just in case you were calling me a selfish mother under your breath. I heard you! PMS gives me superhero-hearing, you know.

Don't try to roast garlic in the microwave. You'll be smelling its charred remains for days afterward. True story.

Write it down or you'll forget. Because I had at least six or seven universal truths planned for this post before I did three loads of laundry and then sat in the rain watching Sweetpea play soccer and then took us both for a hot chocolate and a banana muffin afterward to warm up, even though my stomach is a total wasteland from all the stress-related eating I've been doing lately. But I'm afraid five is all I've got.

And with that, I'm off to drown my sorrows in a cup of tea (and later after Sweetpea is in bed, a glass of wine). I wish you all a PMS-free day.