lesson learned

So, as the mother in this mother/daughter scenario, you would think that my daughter would more often be the beneficiary of my 43 years of wisdom. But once again, the coin is flipped.

She is aware of the situation in Haiti, up to a certain point. I have heard her matter-of-factly telling her friends that there are children who don't have their parents anymore because of the earthquake. Her flair for drama makes the story often sound like "... and then the earthquake happened and ZAP, the next minute there is no house and no parents...". I'm never sure whether to rein in that kind of storytelling, but she is who she is. She is compassionate yet wide-eyed.

Today some visiting friends were collecting shoes for the children of Haiti. I had set aside some of Sweetpea's outgrown sandals and crocs, including a pair of sandals that she only wore once or twice because she found them uncomfortable. Lately, however, the smallest things can cause tears and grief, and she immediately began mourning those sandals that she barely remembered owning. She clutched them to her chest, the tears pouring down her cheeks, and had to carry them ceremonially to the car for them.

I don't have a lot of patience. I know. Big surprise. I suppose there was a bit of embarrassment on my part that a bigger deal was made out of the situation than I felt necessary. I tried to be tender and say all the right things "I know you're sad", "You're doing a great thing", "Those children need the shoes more than you do". But soon enough I was saying "Come on Sweetpea, there is no need for this kind of behaviour" and in my head "quit the crying and chill out".

As we re-entered the house I immediately started in on dinnertime chores but Sweetpea wasn't done.

"Mumma?"
"What, honey?" (slight impatient tone)
"Do you think we could draw a picture of my sandals?"
"Would that really make you feel better?"
"Yes, it would help make me not sad anymore."

I looked at the pile of laundry and the dishes in the sink, sighed, and off we went to find pink markers to draw some sandals.

English hubby found us still working away at her table on his arrival home. He was coerced to draw his own version as well. Once done, the pictures were set aside and Sweetpea was her usual sunny self. She knows what she needs. To acknowledge the sadness, and then move on. I don't know where she gets it, some ancestral throwback, but I am endlessly grateful for her reminders.

If you have gently worn flip-flops, sandals, running shoes - please consider donating them to Soles4Souls.

Also, the talented Sweet|Salty and her friends are hosting an online auction at To Haiti With Love. There are beautiful books, art pieces, photographs, items for babies and toddlers and much more on which to bid. All proceeds benefit the St. Joseph's Family of homes for children in Haiti.