Beating yourself up because you're the worst mother in the world is natural. Do return home after school drop-off and eat the rest of a pot of mac'n'cheese that you prepared for your daughter's lunch. Although I don't advocate stress-related eating as a regular way of making yourself feel better, in this instance it worked nicely.
Do take your daughter for ice cream after school. And make sure you get rainbow sprinkles, that part is very important. Hug daughter constantly and apologize for being a complete piece of shit multiple times (but don't use the words complete piece of shit, she's only five, you know) until she says "MUMmy! Okay, okay."
Laundry can wait. Because when English hubby says that the weather is perfect and the tide is low, it means you won't be folding any laundry or even cooking your daughter a well-balanced evening meal because you'll be driving across the Golden Gate Bridge to visit the Wave Organ to hunt for crabs and watch your daughter run crazy on the beach and listen to the waves through tubes and you'll take the deepest breath while the sun goes down in its usual spectacular fashion and the fog rolls in over the Bridge and feel grateful that tomorrow is another day to try and get it right.
Can you hear it?
we've all been there -- more times than we may like to admit.
ReplyDeletethe shoes flung across the room and the smacking the kid in the mouth while buckling into a car sear both really resonated with me.
Thank goodness for the new day -- didn't Anne Shirley say something about tomorrow being a new day with no mistakes in it yet.
That's one I hold onto as a universal truth.
I laughed out loud at your first truth (and then wanted to cry a little because I know exactly how that feels). I have found that is exactly those moments when I think I have it all figured out that something like that happens--ah the lessons in humility we learn over and over again. Thankfully, there is always another day and other ways to redeem yourself (for something Sweetpea has surely already forgotten.)
ReplyDeleteI LOVE that photo--it is beautiful!
This post made me cry.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm feeling a little guilty after screaming at my kids to get in the car all morning, I hit some buckets trying to get the car out of the garage and then preceeded to get out and throw them across the garage with all my might. Aidan said "Mommy, your in a bad mood today."
I hope I can redeem myself as lovingly as you did.
Oh lord - as if I hadn't cried enough today.
ReplyDeleteYou will never be a piece of shit although feeling like one seems required in parenthood.
Wishing you a lovely, stress (and knot) free Thursday.
Been there, done that. I think I apologize to my girls on a daily basis! It's OK for them to see that we're human, that it's important to say, "I'm sorry", and that it's good to forgive! Glad your day ended on a better note. *grin*
ReplyDeleteI think I'll skip to the ending of your day and program it to repeat. I could certainly live without the first part. Don't we all feel we are a POS sometimes?
ReplyDelete