I suppose I should have seen it coming.
I've been feeling quietly smug that I've made it through this winter relatively unscathed by melancholy. However jetlag and congested sinuses plus the aftermath of re-entry into real life after a perspective-changing trip probably have contributed to what amounts to a sugar crash after too much candy.
But then, it's also Easter. Sweetpea has been beyond excited for a week or more at the prospect of a certain bunny visit. I did my best to supply the magic with chocolate, an egg hunt, and some little toys she's been wanting. But Easter, like Christmas or any other family-oriented holiday where I try to make an effort for this family while wishing I were 3000 miles closer to that family sometimes results in a conflict of spirit.
I barely made it through a quick phonecall with that family on the other side of the continent before losing my equilibrium altogether. And although I preach with full conviction the idea to Sweetpea that we make our own choice about whether to be happy or let the behaviour of others bring us down, I let it happen. It's pissing rain, the six year old started complaining that
you always get to make the rules and
this toy isn't working right and
I'm so frustrated that the baby bottle won't stay in the panda's mouth and
why did you take that off I wanted to keep it and
shush mummy I can't hear my leapster when you're talking on the phone
and then a certain other member of the family was having a tough day of his own and so here I sit with my computer tapping out the emotional diarrhea.this toy isn't working right and
I'm so frustrated that the baby bottle won't stay in the panda's mouth and
why did you take that off I wanted to keep it and
shush mummy I can't hear my leapster when you're talking on the phone
Sweetpea has had a little cry of her own in her room, and has come out to hug me and say sorry for being mean mummy and is now happily playing a game on her leapster.
It's taking me a little longer to bounce back but now that I've unloaded my whiny diatribe here I'm feeling strangely better. I do wish you a happy Easter or a happy Sunday or an otherwise happy day without the curse of dissolving into a puddle of woe-is-me like a certain moseying blogger I know.
"...there's no place like home, there's no place like home..."
oh heavy sign, my friend...I'm sure your family is feeling the same withdrawal from all of you -- having had the blessing of sharing two hectic weeks with you.
ReplyDeletewe are all in a bit of lunch bag let down phase I'm thinking...
hoping the post chocolate hangover is not too severe.
thinking of you all as I shared my China video with my family this week and saw your smiling faces...
I am sorry you have had such a lousy Sunday. I didn't know that part of your melancholy came from wishing to be closer to the rest of your family, that makes sense. I feel that sense from my husband sometimes. I always find it so dificult to deal with anyone else's emotional well-being when I am feeling glum.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon. If nothing else, you should know that that pic of the pink sparkly shoes ROCKS!
We spoke of you often tonight at dinner and I too know what it is like to be missing family, with both my sisters far away. I too feel that pain, and with my parents away again this year your far away family filled the void for my wee family! Wish we were all closer together. Take care and chat soon. xoxo
ReplyDeleteLove you. xoxoxoxoxoxox
ReplyDeleteI'm far away from my family too.
ReplyDeleteHolidays are always a bit hard.
Have a great Monday.
Bleuch!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry the melancholies have landed.
If they made those shoes in our size I think it would be easier to chase them away.